Tuesday, October 8, 2013

A talk with my mind about Paruresis- Shy bladder

Below is a self talk of a man suffering from Paruresis/Shy Bladder. This will be a tiring job to read the whole post so, start only if you are someone who is interested to know the mind of a Paruretic.

courtesy: as shown in image

So if you are one of the chosen one, and hate it, have you ever observed what does it feel like when you are standing there at the urinals and don't know what to do?
I asked this question to myself and got no answer earlier because I have observed that my mind goes blank when I am standing there.

Then I was advised through some writings of Jake Rubin through his book "Urinate Now" and tried to focus on my thought. It is very hard thing to track your mind when it is out of control. It has its own flow and you can not catch it at such instances. Then I thought to do another thing to help myself. I stepped into the urinal and clicked the photo of the urinal itself when no one was there and looked at it in my relaxed hours in my room to find out how does it feel to look at the urinal. I asked my mind why does it not allow my body to urinate in there.

It has no specific answer it goes blank, but then I dug some deeper. All I can say is that it is more busy with something else. It is busy with something else than urinating in there. I realized that I have not observed the urinals comfortably and it looks somewhat different when I look at it from the comfort of my room chair. I can observe now that there are seven holes to let the urine pass to the attached pipe.
There are stains on the sheet which make it look ugly. One feeble reply from my mind was these dirty stains which make it uncomfortable to urinate, but then I retaliate that stains are there when nobody else is present in the room and I am able to urinate at that time.

My mind says that it is not good to urinate at such dirty and stinky places in presence of the other people because you are a clean man and it decrease your value. So that means my mind has a belief that a man with higher value do not like the stinky places when other people are present there, otherwise they will not treat you well because they will know that you have low standards.

 I told my mind that people do not even think and they don't care about all these thoughts in my mind. They themselves urinate at such places and it is the best place to urinate because this way you are helping to protect the environment from getting dirty and stinky. My mind is a good listener and it nodded in agreement but it needs practice to follow my advise to urinate just like the common man do.

I told my mind that people can be judged from there health, status and talk about their standards. A person who is intelligent and still humble, friendly, smiling and helping will have good standards in life. A person who meditates, take physical exercises, eats well and is punctual to his work will have the higher standards in life. Those are the grounds on which a person can be judged for his/her standards in life. My mind has to have the courage to accept this truth and must allow my body to relieve from the further suffering.

I got a link to download this ebook named as "Urinate Now" by Jake Rubin and I read it one go. I came to know that this book comes with a heavy price but there is no copyrights information on the ebook itself so I feel less guilty, however if I get the good results from the information given in this book, I will pay the price to the Author whenever I get the opportunity but currently it is not possible for me pay the money. I want to thank Jake Rubin to take time to write this ebook and I think it really is helpful because I saw some transformations going on in my mind. 
Thank you for your time!
take care!